Alias: It Wasn't Me
Wanted for the following acts of petty mischeif:
Stealing my towel
Spilling stuff on the floor
Leaving socks on the deck
Writing on the walls and floor
Smearing shit in the bathroom (that means "shit" in the literal sense, not a reference to beauty products by Daddy)
Smearing beauty products in the bathroom
Stealing straws off of the juice boxes
Leaving every light in the house on
Turning the heat up to 90 in the bathroom on a 90 degree day
Dumping the trash can
Word has it that we aren't the only house "Not Me" has hit.
He/she may try to frame our children. But they are quite adamant that "Not Me" did it.
If this has happened to you, please contact me about forming a support group for victims of "Not Me".